LETTER 105

[To the Rev. B. G.] London, 8 April 1836.

My dear Friend,

I have often thought that there may be many about you that will say like Pharaoh, "They are entangled in the land, the wilderness hath shut them in." If you are like me you will find a fearful testimony within, that often makes you, for a season, to believe the same. If you are of Israel, no doubt your difficulties will be both great and numerous; for God says, "I will harden Pharaoh's heart, that he shall follow after them." You will find (as I have found) that this pursuit or our enemies will make us sorely afraid; but it will be our mercy if like the children of Israel we in our fear cry unto the Lord; for though this cry be accompanied with much secret mourning and repining, the long-suffering mercy of God is such that he does not send us to our deserved place, but bids us not to fear, but "stand still, and see the salvation of God."

I wish not to complain, but I would have you know that I have many difficulties on all hands which are far beyond the help of flesh and blood. Yet I am not left to fight my battles alone; and though many watch for my halting, the Lord often draws very nigh and whispers sweet instruction. Since I wrote last I have been greatly cast clown, fearing the Lord would give me up. In my sorrow I mourned before the Lord, and I remember the sweet sensation he created in my heart when he told me it was a time of double circumspection - "See then that ye walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise." Be much in prayer; "Watch and be sober." The enemy is very busy; cleave close to me; and see, if this counsel be taken, whether it falls to the ground. Was it not infinite condescension in our God, to deal so tenderly with one so base, so abject, so treacherous, as myself? But he is a sovereign, and will have mercy because he will have mercy. But to return, I found grace from on high to take his sweet counsel, and was astonished to see that I had not to fight, but to pray, for the battle was his, not mine. "O that men would praise the Lord for his goodness, and for his wonderful works to the children of men! "

Let me conclude this letter with the next verse for Mrs. G.; "For he satisfieth the longing soul, and filleth the hungry soul with goodness."

From yours affectionately in the Lord, J. B.

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